Coaching will help you develop skills and streamline systems to manage growth effectively.

Jan Jacobs, Psy.D


Effective Coaching: Asking Powerful Questions
Integral to effective coaching is asking powerful questions. These questions cause you to look at something from a different angle, or open up a possibility you have never considered. The questions that are the most helpful depend specifically upon the context, the content, and the client.

Below, I offer more general questions pertaining to different EQ capacities that may help you to focus on areas you’d like to develop further. As you read through these questions, consider how these skills will benefit you, your team, or your business.


Are you able to notice how you are feeling, physically and emotionally?  Do you check in with yourself? Can you do this in the midst of a charged or difficult interaction? When thrown off-center, do you know what you need to do to re-center?

Awareness of Others
Can you tell what other people may be feeling from their words, body language, or other cues? Do you notice non-verbal forms of communication?  How accurate is your radar about this? How do you know? Do you check out your interpretations? How might inattentiveness or inaccurate assumptions create problems, and at what cost?

Emotional Expression
Can you verbalize your feelings and gut-level reactions in your daily interactions?  How well can you distinguish and express your thoughts and feelings, particularly ones others may not want to hear? Can you do so in a way that’s productive?  How can you tell?

Do you say what you mean, and mean what you say? Do you know what motivates you in any given situation? Are you clear about the outcomes you desire and act deliberately to create those outcomes? How often do you consider your personal purpose, or that of your organization when making decisions? What might the impact be of consistently and consciously aligning your purpose, values and actions?

Can you pay attention to and use all of yourself (thoughts, gut feelings, intuitions, and body sensations) to generate ideas or formulate plans? Do you play with alternative ideas and solutions to problems? Do you have “aha” moments?  If so, do you know what you do that allows for those insights to surface? If not, how might you allow yourself the time and space for things to percolate?

What do you do when faced with a set-back or major disappointment? Are you able to acknowledge your feelings and bounce back? How do you sustain a hopeful, future-focused orientation? What resources do you draw on to help you continue to move forward?

Interpersonal Connection 

How well do you connect with others? How would you rate your relationship-building and relationship-maintenance skills? How would you describe the quality of your interactions? Would others agree?

Constructive Discontent

When there is conflict or disagreement, can you stay centered and focused? If you get triggered, do you know how to manage your reactions? How open are you to hearing others’ points of view? Do you encourage approaches that are different from yours? Are you willing to rock the boat? 

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